Category Archives: Family

Marriage and Money, Manageing money in marriage

Money Matters

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Money management is a top cause of relationship failures. The reason is that people have vastly different expectations of how money should be managed depending on their background and economic status. The main thing with money, just as with everything else in relationships, is to have open and honest communication. That’s easy to say! Here are some expert tips for managing money within a relationship that can benefit any couple.

  • Set guidelines and either stick to them or renegotiate, don’t let resentment build.
  • Allow for some financial freedom for everyone. It can be $10 or $500, but that ability to make decisions separately is an important part of maintaining healthy relationships. It contributes to the feeling that everyone has a separate worth.
  • Don’t hide spending habits. Ever. This is non-negotiable. Make it clear that any mistakes can be worked through and that you can make it work as partners, so that everyone is comfortable being honest.
  • Get real about your money. Set boundaries and live within them, so that excess spending doesn’t leave you regretting something. Never make big purchases without consulting your partner.
  • Money is not a weapon, don’t use it like one in your relationship or you’ll just skewer yourself.
  • If you find that you and your partner are arguing about money, take a step back and ask yourself – is this fight really over money or something else? It’s easy to use finances as a scapegoat.
How to fight fair, managing confict, arguments in relationships

Fighting Fair: 3 Traps to Avoid in an Argument

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Every couple argues, and in fact it can be a good thing for relationships. Arguments can relieve tension, solve problems and allow us to talk about important aspects of life. But not all arguments are created equal. If you want to keep your relationship going well, then steer clear of the following three argument traps.

  • Blame – There’s a difference in holding someone accountable and blaming them. When you blame someone, you’re doing it out of your need to not be accountable. Blame is never constructive and doesn’t help couples to move forward.
  • Sarcasm – When you use sarcasm, you’re not trying to solve a problem. It’s never helpful and it almost always turns a normal argument into an emotional one. We generally do this because our own feelings are hurt, and just like blame it only makes things worse – even if the sting might feel good in the moment.
  • Name calling – Just don’t do it. In that moment it might feel great, but it only causes unnecessary hurt feelings and you can’t take it back. It’s disrespectful. When that thought comes into your mind, don’t speak it.

Remember – the purpose of an argument is not to show how horrible you can be to your partner or how much you can hurt them, but to discuss issues and to allow your relationship to move in a positive direction toward deeper connection.