Marriage and Money, Manageing money in marriage

Money Matters

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Money management is a top cause of relationship failures. The reason is that people have vastly different expectations of how money should be managed depending on their background and economic status. The main thing with money, just as with everything else in relationships, is to have open and honest communication. That’s easy to say! Here are some expert tips for managing money within a relationship that can benefit any couple.

  • Set guidelines and either stick to them or renegotiate, don’t let resentment build.
  • Allow for some financial freedom for everyone. It can be $10 or $500, but that ability to make decisions separately is an important part of maintaining healthy relationships. It contributes to the feeling that everyone has a separate worth.
  • Don’t hide spending habits. Ever. This is non-negotiable. Make it clear that any mistakes can be worked through and that you can make it work as partners, so that everyone is comfortable being honest.
  • Get real about your money. Set boundaries and live within them, so that excess spending doesn’t leave you regretting something. Never make big purchases without consulting your partner.
  • Money is not a weapon, don’t use it like one in your relationship or you’ll just skewer yourself.
  • If you find that you and your partner are arguing about money, take a step back and ask yourself – is this fight really over money or something else? It’s easy to use finances as a scapegoat.
Reasons to date your spouse, dating after marriage

Dating After Marriage: 7 Reasons to Date Your Spouse

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Dating doesn’t stop just because you tie the knot!

  1. Dating is fun - People love dating for a reason: it’s fun! You’re doing new things, enjoying old things, making memories. Why not keep doing it?
  2. Dating builds love - Dating helped to build the loving relationship that you have now, and if you keep doing it then it will continue to build for as long as you date your spouse.
  3. Dating refocuses you - Couples can often struggled to get time together that’s not focused on some activity that keeps life going (work, kids, housekeeping,) Dating lets you press the reset button on stress and anxiety from life.
  4. Dating add spice - Dating reconnects those romantic sparks in your relationship. It encourages you to be attracted to your spouse and gives you the opportunity to have that physical connection that’s so important.
  5. Dating shows care - After a long time together, couples don’t always work to impress their partners. Dating encourages you to put effort into yourself for them.
  6. Dating reminds you - Sometimes we need to be reminded of why we fell in love with our spouse, when times are hard and life is getting in the way. Dating brings those feel good memories back and reminds you of why you love your spouse.
  7. Dating keeps it fresh - When you do something together, you’re expanding your relationship. A new movie or a new restaurant keeps your life together fresh and interesting, though your life is full of routine.
How to fight fair, managing confict, arguments in relationships

Fighting Fair: 3 Traps to Avoid in an Argument

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Every couple argues, and in fact it can be a good thing for relationships. Arguments can relieve tension, solve problems and allow us to talk about important aspects of life. But not all arguments are created equal. If you want to keep your relationship going well, then steer clear of the following three argument traps.

  • Blame – There’s a difference in holding someone accountable and blaming them. When you blame someone, you’re doing it out of your need to not be accountable. Blame is never constructive and doesn’t help couples to move forward.
  • Sarcasm – When you use sarcasm, you’re not trying to solve a problem. It’s never helpful and it almost always turns a normal argument into an emotional one. We generally do this because our own feelings are hurt, and just like blame it only makes things worse – even if the sting might feel good in the moment.
  • Name calling – Just don’t do it. In that moment it might feel great, but it only causes unnecessary hurt feelings and you can’t take it back. It’s disrespectful. When that thought comes into your mind, don’t speak it.

Remember – the purpose of an argument is not to show how horrible you can be to your partner or how much you can hurt them, but to discuss issues and to allow your relationship to move in a positive direction toward deeper connection.

Marriage, Relationships, Love, Lasting relationships

For Better and Worse: 4 Principles of Love

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These four principles of love are what great, lasting relationships are made of.

  • Forgiveness – Letting go of pain can be difficult. It takes work. Stuff has happened in the past that hurt you, and you have every right to be upset. Forgiveness is a process that’s more about the betterment of your life and relationship than it is about letting someone off the hook.
  • Faith – Believe in the best of your partner. When relationships go south is when people start believing in the worst of their partner – you must have faith in their goodness and their ability to do right by you.
  • Fidelity – Cheating breaks trust. This doesn’t mean that you never look at another person, that you’re never attracted to anyone else or that you never think about past loves, it means that you’re honest with yourself and your partner about these feelings before they become reality.
  • Fun – Life is more enjoyable when you can have some fun. There are fun moments in all of our lives, even during the hard times. Look for those! Share them with your partner! Make an effort to have fun with your partner and you’ll create joy.